(sorry this blog has been so quiet for, oh, give or take seven months…)

They really are you know. And here’s the proof…

It’s really about the ewoks. No one likes bloody ewoks. Even Caps Shift on my keyboard doesn’t like them.

If you haven’t seen Jedi since you were a kid, you’re sitting there, enjoying the movie – the Han rescue, Yoda’s death, the plans to attach the Death Star – it’s all thrilling stuff right up until the annoying furballs turn up (I spoke about this on the SF/Cult podcast Thumbcast a while ago) and it goes downhill. And you’re pissed, double pissed in fact because you had forgotten that these muppets were in it and now you have to sit and watch the rest with them in it.

Second kids are like that – you’re (mostly) enjoying yourself with the second one – gurgles, looks cute, you’re excited, it’s all happy thoughts – and then the other stuff starts – the wailing, the crying that won’t stop, colic, the green poo that smells worse than anything else – all the stuff you had forgotten/blocked out from the first baby. And it ruins a lot of the previous goodness. Because once the bad stuff comes back to mind, it just won’t leave as you know there’s more of it come – just like the ewoks.

They also appear to lead to your death – kids that is, not ewoks. If memory serves, Leia beats Luke out the womb. Leia’s a perfect daughter – she tells her dad where the rebel bases are and everything (even if it was under torture) but Luke? His dad has to go up against his boss because of Luke and that leads to him dying. Nice one Luke.

There’s also the unspoken worry – just as Lucas followed up ROTJ with the original prequel, you’re left terrified about how bad your next sequel might be…

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